and now (leaving aside all the panicky thoughts of the job-related type) I have panicky thoughts of the 'what will I wear' type. I have no proper suit, or two-piece costume. I have a fairly decent (but still not exactly job-interview appropriate) skirt and then what kind of top would go with that? Hm... I have a red shirt that could go well...
Weather forecast predicts rains and low temperature. Perhaps a different (long) skirt? (have I mentioned recently that I need to buy more clothes or lose weight?)
I thought of starting another journal, just for myself. I thought of deleting my other journal. I thought....
Truth is, I think I'm over my crisis about stuff that never happened, emotions that shouldn't be, other people in my life (who make me miserable on occasion), and -- I'm in the best mood for starting this journal again. I'm angry! I'm angry at myself, at my student L., at people in my life who depress the hell out of me, at my housemate who opens the corridor window and it's so fucking cold outside, at my other room that is permanently frozen and that whether I complain or not it makes no real difference since that room is FUCKING COLD!!!!!, at the fact that I got four rejections today and still haven't heard from the two jobs I've been longlisted, at the fact that I have another grey hair today (why do they call them grey? they're fucking colourless, they're not grey), and --
let's face it, if this LJ thing has any chance of continuing into the future, it is going to be a mess of stream-of-consciousness, random links and whatever else. If you want to defriend it, do it. I won't mind. I'll even try not to care (for a change).
